Well, that door is pretty much closed.
The place I went to for 9+ hours a day, 52 weeks a year, for 8 years is now in my rear view mirror. I’m looking out my windshield, hands on the steering wheel, ready to go. (God, I love metaphors.) Hope I don’t fog up the windows.
Let’s face it, knew this day was coming. When you give your notice one day you actually will have to leave, however, I had no idea it would get here so fast. This morning when I woke up I thought that maybe it had all just been a bad dream. The last 9 months never happened. Sort of like Dallas when they killed off Bobby and the next season he was in the shower. Don’t want that shower scene with my boss. Seriously Icky.
This the last day was as tough as I thought it would be. I was an emotional wreck. My kind and generous coworkers took me to lunch at the place across the street from the office. It felt a little strange. It almost felt like a wake. The conversation was forced. No one seemed to want to look at the 500 lb. gorilla in the room, namely me. When there was conversation it was superficial stuff. I’ve worked closely with most of these people for years and we all just didn’t seem to know what to say. I felt bad for them and my usual wry humor chose to failed me.
Not long after we returned from lunch I was escorted into the conference room where a good number of the staff were to give me a champagne toast and nice going away gift. Again awkward silence. My boss’s boss was standing as far away from me as physically possible. She may have actually been sitting on a counter backed up against the wall. This woman is never without words, but do you think she could muster up anything to say? We all stood in the room holding champagne glasses saying nothing. (There’s a painting in there, still life.) Once or twice there was a comment or nervous chuckle. You know the scene in Moonstruck where the entire family is sitting around the breakfast table waiting for Johnny Camarari to show up, you can feel the tension building and then the grandfathers says, “Somebody tell a joke.” It was just like that. Finally a VP said a few words before she excused herself. Was everyone uncomfortable because the corpse was not really dead? Not sure. In all fairness things did loosen up a little once the alcohol kicked in.
Tomorrow I start fresh and begin the search for that rarest of rare things, a job I can throw myself into.